I just got back from India about a week ago, and I am starting to realize that this experience has changed me forever. Before I left for this trip, Heather (the only other person I went with) told me that this would be an extremely hard trip to go on because it was hard to understand, and it would hurt my heart. I finally get that. This was the best, but worst two weeks of my entire life. I met the most amazing kids, who smile no matter what they are faced with. They have lost their parents, been abused, been put in prostitution by their own parents, and have seen unthinkable things. I went to 3 orphanages in New Delhi, India as well as a Pickers Village and my heart broke over and over again for these kids. I heard stories of a two little boys whose mom abandoned them in a train station. The youngest boy cried for days on end, refusing to eat, simply crying "mamma." I just wanted to save him, and be a better mother to him, then his own, but I couldn't. So I simply hugged him and rocked him back and forth.
I met several young girls who were sold into prostitution by a family member, and only escaped because they ran away. I met young kids who ran away from abusive homes. I met kids who lost both of their parents to diseases. And then I met the Picker Village kiddos who live in a garbage dump, and pick through the trash to try and make money. They live in cardboards homes. They don't have clean water. They don't have clothes that fit, and they don't have shoes. While there, we handed out bags of clothes and shoes, as well as whatever food we had in our car. The people were desperate for the items, fighting over them. We had to limit each person to 1 thing, which is heartbreaking because I just want to give them the world. I see these people who are homeless, starving, and freezing and then I think of the luxury that I have waiting for me at home. I have running water, I have clothes, I have an endless supply of food. I have never been concerned about not eating or not having a place to live. And as I think through the luxuries I have and compare them to the life these people are living, I feel extreme guilt.
I feel guilty for anytime I have ever complained that I am eating a food that "doesn't sound good", when other people aren't eating. I feel guilty for throwing away a sweater because it's missing a button, when I know their are kids who would love to have that sweater. I feel guilty for wasting any bit of food, because I know that their kids who need that food, who will die without that food. I feel guilty for the fact that I get an education, and the fact that college is not an option in my family because I know there are kids who aren't educated. I complain about the stupidest things, but if I tried to live the lives that some of these seven year olds are living, I would handle it with a lot less grace than they do. They still smile. They still love. They still have their family. Their lives aren't easy. Their lives aren't fun. But they still love and smile despite the facts against them.
The kids I have met have forever altered my life. They have earned an extremely special part in my heart. And the adults who run these orphanages, have earned my complete respect. I can't even imagine the struggles they endure to keep the orphanages running, and the children fed. They could have ignored the problems, and just lived their lives in a bubble like many people do. But instead, they chose to help, and make a huge difference in the lives of the kids they help. They are positive role models, and loving figures for kids who need it. I feel so blessed to have been able to work alongside the orphanage owners, and to have been able to spend time playing and getting to know these amazing kiddos.
I met several young girls who were sold into prostitution by a family member, and only escaped because they ran away. I met young kids who ran away from abusive homes. I met kids who lost both of their parents to diseases. And then I met the Picker Village kiddos who live in a garbage dump, and pick through the trash to try and make money. They live in cardboards homes. They don't have clean water. They don't have clothes that fit, and they don't have shoes. While there, we handed out bags of clothes and shoes, as well as whatever food we had in our car. The people were desperate for the items, fighting over them. We had to limit each person to 1 thing, which is heartbreaking because I just want to give them the world. I see these people who are homeless, starving, and freezing and then I think of the luxury that I have waiting for me at home. I have running water, I have clothes, I have an endless supply of food. I have never been concerned about not eating or not having a place to live. And as I think through the luxuries I have and compare them to the life these people are living, I feel extreme guilt.
I feel guilty for anytime I have ever complained that I am eating a food that "doesn't sound good", when other people aren't eating. I feel guilty for throwing away a sweater because it's missing a button, when I know their are kids who would love to have that sweater. I feel guilty for wasting any bit of food, because I know that their kids who need that food, who will die without that food. I feel guilty for the fact that I get an education, and the fact that college is not an option in my family because I know there are kids who aren't educated. I complain about the stupidest things, but if I tried to live the lives that some of these seven year olds are living, I would handle it with a lot less grace than they do. They still smile. They still love. They still have their family. Their lives aren't easy. Their lives aren't fun. But they still love and smile despite the facts against them.
The kids I have met have forever altered my life. They have earned an extremely special part in my heart. And the adults who run these orphanages, have earned my complete respect. I can't even imagine the struggles they endure to keep the orphanages running, and the children fed. They could have ignored the problems, and just lived their lives in a bubble like many people do. But instead, they chose to help, and make a huge difference in the lives of the kids they help. They are positive role models, and loving figures for kids who need it. I feel so blessed to have been able to work alongside the orphanage owners, and to have been able to spend time playing and getting to know these amazing kiddos.